September in paragraphs

2017

When we know better, we do better. - Maya Angelou

I’m grateful that I choose to stay in my hometown these couple of months. Being closer with the family member give me more sense of the everyday realities in the house. And of course, their behaviour (the good and the bad).

Since I’ve been living away the past 2 years, sometimes I feel gap between me and my family. Like for example I sometimes found they tatlked about something that I have no idea about, or news that I haven’t heard. And sometimes I’m afraid of them feeling that I don’t care about them while it’s not true at all. So, being with them for the past 2 months really gave me opportunity to lessen the gap. And to prove that I truly care.

But the more I surrounded by many people, the more I also learn about myself. I realized that it’s against my nature to be surrounded by noises. There were many relatives (we’re more than 10) who stayed in our house when my parent leave for hajj, and I can’t write like seriously. No matter how much I tried or read to get inspirations, I just can’t do it.

Minimalism isn’t about your stuff; it’s about your soul - the ‘you’ underneath of the stuff. - Lisa Avellan of Simple & Soul

More from September:

  • I got hypotension and fainted for the first time ever in my life. Turned out that my blood pressure was only 86. I don’t know if it’s because the stress that I got from managing the house, or anything else. But now I realize how strong those mothers who took care of the house are.
  • I’m thinking about to write a book and manage it through a github repo. That’s gonna be exciting!
  • One more of us in the CDT team leaves. I will definitely missed Franc in our meetings and all hands.
  • Lots of relatives says that this cutie just like a little me. And I can’t believe how she knows my childhood cartoon Teletubbies very well and even enjoy it. She’s just beyond her age.
  • We take seriously those of us who seems sad and gloomy but we take for granted those who are cheerful. What an unfair world. I mean, we call them having mental pressure despite of so many people who are trying to help. It’s probably another term of calling someone unable to grow up. The learning is, refuse help from other people when we actually need it the most is stupid. Don’t be someone like that.

Because to love someone unconditionally is to open yourself up to being hurt.