Thoughts during isolation

It’s been almost 10 days since I isolate myself 15 kilometers away from where my family live. At first, I thought, what am I gonna do? But actually, at this point, I started to like this experience. Especially at 6 pm, during iftar, when I got to eat without watching local television channel. Instead, I put on Korean drama or stand up comedies, depending on my mood, which you can’t really do when you live with your family.

I also come to like that I don’t have to worry about offending other people for not talking the whole day. It’s a given, especially when you fast. You don’t really want to talk when the last time you drink water was 8 hours ago.

I have a new hobby, though. Which is to type using speech to text feature on my phone (which is how I create the initial draft for this post). You might think that I do that because I missed talking to people (not that this is entirely wrong), but I actually do that because I’m lazy to reduce my screen time. I picked it up after I got CVS or digital eye strain, which basically is a sign that I need to have other activities than staring at the screen. The other day, I was saying “page break” but my phone recognize it as “biiiiitch break”. It’s amazing to see how technology is so advance these days.

When I got the CVS, though, I felt like a kid whose toys were taken. I looooove working and it was my main activity that could distract me from my solitude during the isolation. I remember I talked to my housemate when I was still in Jakarta that I’m excited about monday because I finally got to do something. Now that I have to rest my eyes, I switch to my other hobbies, which is to sleep. Which is not going really well so far because it makes my body ache and stiff now that I got too much of it.

And probably just like million other people, I cook more ever since I got to stay at home more (if not all the time). If you think about it, cook for yourself is like an exercise of self-acceptance. No matter how bad they are, you’re likely going to finish them anyway. Because heeey! You should take a pride on what you’ve made. Think about it like putting your drawing in a frame. Besides, living by yourselves means that you don’t have many choices.

I’ve also been keeping a food diary these days. I have a folder on my phone where I put pictures of the food that I eat. I especially took a lot of photos of my cooking. Not that I’m proud of it, but just in case I got food poisoning, I would have a neat documentation of what I had.

I honestly like my cooking, though. I feel like I have this hidden talent in me that I just discover recently. I would just randomly throw a few stuff that I have in the fridge and turn it into a dish. I don’t even look up at a recipe, I would just cook them randomly and eat them like it’s the best food in the world. Because to be fair, it is, at least the best that I could have at the moment.

Also, these days, I’ve been cleaning a lot like a freak. I would spill a bit of oil on the stove and I would clean the whole kitchen. The other day, I cleaned my bathroom until the toilet turned like a brand new just like what you see in a commercial. It’s fascinating to see how you develop a lot of skills even during a difficult time like this.

But in all seriousness, I think the best learning that I come to learn these days is to accept that we don’t have much control over our lives. I would probably believe if you tell me that our health minister has resigned from his position because I give up following the news. There’s too much sorrow when I look at the timeline so I stay away from it (I do aware of what people have done with chocolate sprinkle, though). I guess this is just an attempt to make peace with myself. Until I’m ready to take on the harsh world, I think I will make do with this solitude.