Gratitude

If you’re given a time machine to fix your life, can you think of one moment that you would like to go back and get it fixed?

I was mulling over that question for the past week, but I couldn’t find any answers. Even more, lately I was feeling that my life seems so easy compared to the others. And as cocky as it sounds, some of my friends even confirmed that.

When I hear or see other people’ life issue, most of the time, I can’t help but think how small my own problem is, in comparison to theirs. And the strange thing is that that makes me feel like I was falling behind in life.

Isn’t life supposed to be difficult and complicated? Am I missing something?

Having said that, of course, it doesn’t mean that I don’t have any problem at all. It’s the scope of the problem that terrifies me. Somehow I’m afraid if I can’t handle the situation once I stumbled upon a major life issue in the future because I got used to an easy life.

When I think about it, I thought there are 2 possibilities that might have caused it. First, maybe I look down on my own problem and dramatized others’. Second, someone implies to me that maybe it’s a sign that I handle issues in my life well enough that it didn’t bug me much. I would love to believe the latter, of course. However, it seems arrogant just to think that way, and I honestly have no confidence to believe it.

But today, I realize something on a cab that took me to the station. I was thinking, regardless of the precedent, I should’ve earned it. It’s such a shame that I feel guilty to have a good life. Why would I do that? I should’ve focused more on the bright side. I should’ve thankful for having a great family, good friends, and a job that I love.

And of course, I’m not saying that I have the best life in the world. But I realized that this life alone is a privilege that not everyone has and I should’ve made the best use of it. I should’ve cherished my loved ones more, and doing work that can benefit others.

And I think I’ve been doing it without I realized. The community that I served, my writing, my podcast project, are my attempts to spill the water. Of course, there are many more that I could have done to extend my gratitude. But I’ll leave the floor to you all. Beyond the obvious one like donating, what do you usually do to extend your gratitude? Care to share an idea?

Photo by Zack Minor on Unsplash