Bye bye Mbah Kung..

It was a painful Saturday when I get a message from my dad telling me that Mbah Kakung was hospitalized. I was still in a Tegal Bahari train, on my way back home from Jakarta and just texted my sister to pick me up at the station. I was shock and felt deeply guilty.

The last time I saw him was last Tuesday, 10/11/2015. When mom told me to bring him some medicines and bread. He told me that he felt so weak and I thought that it just a casual sick like what he usually had. So I leave in a “hurry” because I should catch my train to Jakarta that afternoon. My last word to him was only “Sehat-sehat ya mbah.. Kiki berangkat dulu.” I never thought that it could be my last conversation with him.

I went directly to the hospital that Saturday and found him in the ICU. It was a tearful Saturday night. He was already in a state of unconsciousness. I felt really bad to come late. I even extend my stay in Jakarta without knowing that he was hospitalized since Wednesday. If only someone tell me about it sooner. Or if only I never extend my stay and just go home earlier.

If only was the the most painful word for me right now. If only, if only, if only..

Last night, he was passed away. No more words can explain how guilty I am right now.

I wish you rest in a better place there, Mbah Kung.. I’m really sorry for not coming earlier to accompany you in your last moment. I would say no excuse. I’m just feel deeply sorry..